i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
