i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
