apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
