dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
