I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
