im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
