Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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