Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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