I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
