Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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