so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
