What a fucking waste of an outfit
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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