the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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