i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
