I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
