i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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