Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
