I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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