you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
