I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
