Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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