yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
