I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
