I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
