I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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