He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
