what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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