That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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