In the future we'll all be gay
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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