??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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