I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
