I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
