I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
