Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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