There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
this just has baby written all over it
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
