i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
