I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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