If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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