sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
