I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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