He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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