i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
