We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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