You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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