i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
