it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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