in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
