If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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