All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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