if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am available for nakedness
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
