...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
