just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
