I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
