So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
