Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
