i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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