READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
