Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
